From out of nowhere!

The next time you're in the post office, shelling out for a TV licence, ignore the queue of pensioners whimpering on about ITV being free and the Beeb taking "a bloody liberty" and take comfort in the knowledge that if it wasn't for the BBC, this month's cover star - the highest new entry in FHM's 100 Sexiest Women - would right now still be at university. It's higher education's loss and our gain that Sunday afternoon fashion stalwart The Clothes Show put Catherine Deeley - or Cat, as the 21-year-old Brummie brunette is better known - on the road to TV stardom. It was at one of its annual live Roadshow events that she was first "spotted" and encouraged to start modelling.
     "When I was 14 I had a bad perm, very thin legs and big eyebrows," Cat recalls. "I looked like the missing Gallagher sister, and I certainly wasn't the girl at school who everybody fancied. I didn't have big boobs or anything. Then, when The Clothes Show Live was at Birmingham NEC, I entered a modelling competition and got through to the finals."
     So instead of being swamped by piles of well-thumbed text-books, sharing dingy accommodation with a bunch of scruffy degenerates and eating cold Kwik Save soup from a can, Cat now hosts MTV chart show Hitlist UK and fronts the slightly more saucy Amour (where she plays the Devil's girlfriend). Yet in spite of the interest she's generated over the last 12 months, the news that she's been voted one of the top ten most desirable women on the planet comes as a bit of a shock to her.
     "Number seven!" she gasps, attempting not to choke on mouthfuls of worryingly rare-looking fillet steak while sitting in a London restaurant. "My God! Bloody hell! Who's number six?"
     The daughter of a technical designer and a former council worker, Cat's childhhod was filled with low-budget school plays, spiffing street parties and quite breathtaking exam success. She's got nine grade-A GCSEs and four A-levels. "I didn't have my first kiss until I was 14, so I didn't have a lot to distract me," she says by way of explanation.
     Now living in a north London flat with two models, Cat is as happy as a nun with a candlestick, spending most of her week clubbing, pubbing, and knocking back pints of lager. "All I knew before I got into presenting, was that I didn't want to reach 30 and find myself married with two kids and say, 'What would have happened if I'd gone to London when I was 17?' And I'm really, really grateful for what I've got. It's brilliant."

What's your earliest memory of performing?
I was Mary in the school nativity play when I was about seven, and I kicked ass! The best bit was the fact that I got to ride on the donkey. It wasn't a real donkey, it was on wheels, but it was like a dream come true. The only thing that could top it was being Cinderella and getting to ride in the fairy coach, which was basically the donkey with a little bit extra stapled to thetop.

What's the naffest part you played?
I was in Pinocchio. There's these rubbish puppets; two of them are cool and one's really rubbish - and I had to be the rubbish one, didn't I? I had to wear this great big "knob" hat, like oneof those dunce's hats. I really hated it, and I had to keep peering out from behind this screen, going "Gaaawwsh". I felt like a dickhead. The only good thing about that play was that I got chicken pox at the end of it, so I don't appear in any of the photos they took on the final night.

Were you made to go to church as a kid?
Only because of the Brownies. That was the bad part of bing a Brownie - I was more interested in camping and lighting fires, and swimming. I had loads of badges. I was really good at the backsroke: I once kicked this lad's ass in a race,and he was much older than me - a big muscly guy. The one thing I've never done is learn how to dive. And I definitely can't do butterfly.

No one can do butterfly.
Right - it's just some weird Chinese torture method.

Were you a tomboy?
Absolutely. I always wore dungarees and wellies. I was never a girlie-girl. I used to hang out with my brother, Max - he's 18 now - and we used to go on adventures at the stream at the bottom of our garden. We used to fight, too. When he was about ten, it got to be like proper fighting, but because he was really small he was hitting me as hard as he could, and I was trying not to bash him. But I knew that if I ever really wanted to piss him off, I just had to tickle him.

What daft hobbies did you have?
I went through phases. I did stamp collecting for a bit. I didn't really get into it, but I remember that stamp hinges were wicked. I love messing about with things, and licking the stamp hinges and sticking them down was the best bit. I did ballet for a while. I played clarinet in the Sandwell Youth Orchestra, and we went off and did tours. I did horse-riding for a bit, but I stopped after a while because the horses were really manky.

Did you ever have any gruesome accidents when you were a nipper?
I used to love The A-Team and The Fall Guy, and one time in the garden I was on top of this big slide and I went to do a Fall Guy jump-and-roll. My little legs got caught on the slide, so I landed head-first on the grass and my teeth went through my bottom lip.

Nasty. Any more?
I had a sledge crash, and I had to be carried home. the worst thing was that the lad I smashed into got into loads of trouble, and it wasn't really his fault. But I've only got one scar - a little one, on my leg. And I've never had any stitches, and I've never broken a bone - which makes me terrified; because it's never happened, I'm really scared of it. I'm a bit of a pussy when it comes to blood.

What was your first date like?
I was about 14 and he was 17. His name was Stewart, and we'd arranged to go to the pictures to see Batman Returns. My mum had to drop me off in town to meet him at McDonald's, where every teenager meets for their first date. I'd done myself up and everything and I was really frightened, but he was really nervous too - he couldn't look me in the face, or anything. My first kiss was with him. I heard this rumour that he thought I'd kissed someone else before, and I was dead proud. I hadn't but it made me feel really cool, and I let him go on thinking that. But then he found out and suddenly my cool exterior was gone. I do remember the first kiss, though. Very nice, weak at the knees stuff. I'd been reading my Sweet Valley High books and built myself up to it.

Where did you study for your A-levels?
It was at this boys' school. They only took girls on in the sixth form, about 14 a year. I was starting to look a bit better by then - I'd learned about tweezers at this stage, and the perm had grown out. It was pretty weird there. I'd always been perfectly cool with boys, because of my brother and his mates, but all of a sudden I was thrown among all these blokes who hadn't been near girls all their lives. I felt quite mature - especially because during the summer holidays, before I started the sixth form, I'd been to London to do some modelling and gone out with this model called Matthew, who was 22 - all dark hair and dark skin.

Can you recall your first fumblings?
Yes, that was with Matthew. It was a bit of a "rubbing" scenario. It's so nice, the rubbing bit.

What rubbing bit?
You know what I mean! Everybody knows what I mean! When you're having a kiss and stuff, but don't really do anything else, but you're kind of rubbing. You've still got your clothes on.

Very nice. In the recent FHM sex poll, blokes claim to have bedded 19 women on average. Are you surprised?
Nineteen! God, yes, I'm amazed. All I know is that I'm nowhere near that figure, so 19 is very frightening indeed. That's way off where I am. A long way...

On your show Amour, you adopt the persona of the Devil's girlfriend. The first time you did it, did you feel sexy or stupid?
Neither, really. I felt like I had to be a bit sexy, but I also felt quite strong. Before I did it, they had this italian girl ona bed, and when I started out I began doing it the way she had. But she was small with big boobs and a very sexy accent and I'm not like that at all - I'm a skinny brunette from Birmingham. So they had to change the format, because I was nearly dropping off the end of the bed. The character's not really me at all. If I was like that, I'd have no mates.

If - God forbid - you croaked it today, would you go to Heaven or Hell?
I think I'd go to Hell first, and they'd think, 'Nah, she's alright,' and pack me off. I'd end up presenting Blue Peter in the sky.

Do you think that if Hell - according to Amour - is full of scantily-clad, good-looking women, then every bloke is hoping for an eternity of infernal damnation?
I guess so. It depends on if they're bad enough. And straight enough! But I love gay guys, they're fantastic. They're like the best bits of girls with a bit of bloke thrown in.

When you were a model, what was your cheesiest assignment?
I did some teeny magazines like Mizz and Patch. I once did something for Big or Smash Hits with Sean Maguire - I was Olivia Newton-John and he was John Travolta. They's built this set - the "Shake Shack" - and painted it pink, and my hair was all bouffed and I had a tight pair of pants on and a black leather jacket, and my leg was up round his waist.

Did the blokes at school ever get to see pictures of you in your undies?
No, I never did anything like that. When I was modelling at 16 my boobs were only just starting to appear. I still get teased about it; my flatmates take the piss out of me all the time.

Are you a glamour puss when you finally get home from work?
No. I'll stick some jeans or tracky-bottoms on and have a chat with my flatmates. There's always some crisis about blokes or clothes, and because I'm the eldest, I'm like the agony aunt - the sensible one. Unless I'm completely out of it; then I'm no use to anyone. I lose the plot sometimes.

Could you knock up a good lasagne?
Spag bol, I could do. I only attempted lasagne once, on Pancake Day, when we had shitloads of pancakes left over. I made some bolognaise sauce and put it on the pancakes. It was fantastic. And I'm not talking about a jar of Dolmio - it was made from scratch. I'm not an amazing cook, I'm okay. Whoever I cook for gets to wash up - that's the rule.

Is your flat a mess?
Not the kitchen; the lounge is worst. Pizza boxes, beer cans, shoes, clothes, magazines, bags. Everyone's in big high-heels, Blondie blaring in the background, mobile phones going off, people stepping over each other. You should come and just sit and watch it some time.

Thanks. If a friend calls you up and says "We're going out in 20 minutes", can you do it?
Yeah, easy. Tonight, I jumped out of the shower, soaking wet hair, just before seven, and I was here for quarter-to-eight. And it's a thirty-minute cab ride. You've just got to get dressed - that's the main priority - then all the rest fades into oblivion.

Do you have a party trick?
I can fit a whole apple into my mouth. I've go a really massive mouth. Huge. As long as I lick the sides of my lips, I can get anything in. Watch this...

Goodness! You just stuck an ashtray in there...
See. Don't worry - it's clean!

Have you ever been on the receiving end of an appalling chat-up line?
I've never had anyone use a chat-up line. I'd really like to receive one, so if anyone wants to use a chat-up line on me... I think it'd be a laugh. People do come up to me, but it's more a case of, "Alright, how're you doing?" And I've never chatted anyone up in my life, either. I've never pulled anybody. I haven't had many boyfriends or anything.

What do you have an irrational fear of?
The Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang bang. He's way too scary for children's films. And anything to do with ghosts or devils frightens me - which is a bit stupid, because I'm Satan's girlfriend.

To many FHM readers, you're quite frighteningly young. Do you remember any of these: A) chopper bikes.
Yes. Long handlebars with little strings on the end of them, funny L-shaped seat.

B) The Sex Pistols on Top Of The Pops.
No. I think my earliest memory of Top Of The Pops was seeing A-Ha.

C) Jaws at the cinema.
No, but I've seen it on telly. My mum and dad went to see Jaws when it first came out, and apparently my mum got stuck in the cinema seat because she was pregnant with me. The first thing I saw at the pictures was ET.

Finally, what would you say to all the people who cast their vote for you in FHM's 100 Sexiest Women survey?
Cheers! Anything more than that would sound gushing, and I'm not a gushy person, so cheers! Thanks a lot!