Cat

In the movies, a scorned official often pokes his chubby finger at an adversary, barks the words "A year in politics is a long time!", storms out and flags down a yellow cab. Equally gung-ho claims can be found in the courtroom drama and in films about big business. Thankfully though, no director has yet subjected cinema audiences to the phrase: "A year in international sales marketing is a long time!"
     But in the world of showbusiness, 12 months really is forever. Careers are broken on the back of sleazy "nine-in-a-bed romp" stories; dribbling stalkers force celebrities into retirement; newcomers wriggle out of their shells and emerge as shining stars. This time last year, a bubbly brunette from Birmingham was told that she'd been voted into the top ten in FHM's 100 Sexiest Women poll. The then almost completely unknown Cat Deeley - who wowed readers after a stunning FHM photo shoot at the start of 1998 - was a minor celeb hosting a couple of shows on MTV.
     Still a top ten beauty, Cat's now hit the big time.
     In the past year, she's established herself as one of the hottest names on the hugely competitive youth TV circuit, co-hosting Saturday morning music show CD:UK and the cheeky kids' programme SMTV:Live, alongside the hilarious Geordie pairing, Ant and Dec. Now 22, Cat has also hit the headlines over her alleged relationship with smooth Fun Lovin' Criminals singer, Huey. Elsewhere, she's reported to have "had talks" about the Big Breakfast job (which she claims she wouldn't take), and even done voiceovers for adverts - despite her lingering Brummie twang. So has this been, ahem, "The year of the Cat"?
     "I don't know," she ponders in a London restaurant, gnawing on a seafood platter that could feed a junior school. "Yeah, I've done alright. I think the time I most thought, 'This is what it's all about,' was on a show a while back when Bagpuss came on to SMTV:Live. Then in the same show I interviewed Debbie Harry, and she said the next time I was in New York I should cvall her, and gave me her personal number. Bagpuss and Blondie - that's what it's all about."

Are you ever brought down to earth with a bump?
Sometimes I have to deal with older people in the business, who don't speak to you like they should. I know I've got a lot to learn, but I don't need to be treated like I'm the bit of skirt. It's frustrating when you can't change their opinion in ten minutes.

Do you get in trouble for all the smut on the show?
I did get bollocked for saying "pierced nipple" one time. We went to the break and everyone was having a go at me. After the break, Ant and Dec made me stand up and apologise to the nation. We also got into trouble because of a magazine piece which said we try and sneak all kinds of words in. Ant and Dec try and get everything in; "love juice", "fat lezzers" - all sorts. I'm guilty myself, but we can't do it now because we've had the yellow card.

What would shock the kids "behind the scenes"?
It looks very easy, but there's all kinds of stuff going on; things being dropped at the last minute, me having to run from one end of the studio to another. One time, there were two lads in the crowd kicking the shit out of each other...

What's the deal with you and Huey?
Well, we went for dinner - he's very nice, but apart from that, I'm not saying anything/ I'm saving it for when I'm in an old people's home - I'll tell the old dears.

How did you take it when you and Huey hit the papers?
It's weird for me because it had never happened before. If you have dinner with someone, you normally go out a few times before you start to make your mind up about them, but all of a sudden we were totally an item in the press. It was horrible when I saw the piece in the paper. I hadn't long split up with my boyfriend, and then someone showed it to me just before I went on air.

Was breaking up hard to do?
Well, it wasn't over Huey. And it wasn't that we'd had a row. I'd been with my boyfriend for a long time and it needed to go somewhere. We're still really good mates.

You once said you'd like to be able to pee like a man...
Well it is useful, isn't it? Long car journeys; round the back of a pub. I've done it myself - on holiday in Antigua, we had to stop and have a pee because everyone had been drinking. Blokes one side, girls the other.

Is there anything else you'd like to do like a man?
I'd love to go to one of those old-type cigar clubs, smoking jacket, glass of port...

You could get Huey to take you.
Where did you get this idea from that he wears a smoking jacket? Don't fucking start on me!

Okay. What are you up to tonight?
I just bumped nto Gail Porter, and we're both going to go to this big Hugh Hefner party. It sounds great.

Finally, would you do a full frontal nudity photoshoot for a million quid?
Yeah, I'd do it. Obviously there'd be certain terms and conditions. But I'd go nude for a million - who wouldn't? Just nothing too porno - got to think of my old dad!